These poems pour out of my heart...
They have an alchemy of their own.
And while I write these words, they

are not mine to hold onto in private locked boxes.
For my muse is clear on this point...
These are prayers to be shared.
And by prayer I mean no religious connotation.
These are invocations to stir your heart and soul.
They are sacred to me perhaps they will be for you...
Self Portrait Photograph by Elana Kilkenny (in front of artwork by Anna Williams)

Self Portrait Photograph by Elana Kilkenny (in front of artwork by Anna Williams)

sometimes

Sometimes you just need to...

Buy yourself flowers and smile like the Cheshire Cat when people ask you if it's your birthday...cause it don't need to be your birthday to be taking home an overflowing bouquet of heady delight.

Roam through beloved streets in a city you love with all your heart.

Linger in beauty for longer than you think you have time for.

Decide to be happy and decide...again and again and again.

Act on that inspiration you had to tell someone how much they mean to you.

Get your hair made up all pretty so that your outer fire matches your inner one.

Take a photo of yourself in technicolor saturation to remind yourself that life is not black and white...

Photograph by Catherine Just

Photograph by Catherine Just

She decided

She DecideD

to trust herself above all voices...

To say no when she meant it and yes when she desired it...

To be actively kinder even though she knew she was already kind...

To stop apologizing for things she didn't feel sorry for...

To apologize more for the things she was afraid to atone for, but knew was the necessary medicine for her heart...

To Embrace Joy, To choose it, actively seek it out, and to linger long enough in it to trust it more...

to let her sadness live alongside her happiness...

to seek out people who made her laugh, because seriousness she had already mastered...

To complain less even if it meant she would no longer be a part of conversations that she probably didn't want to be involved in anyway...

to honor sleep, to get enough of it, to enter it with a prayer, to wake up from it with a meditated mind...

to write whatever she damn well wants to, because a true voice is always what she desires to read and the only voice she knows how to write from...

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny of artwork by Betty Kay Kendrick at ABC Carpet & Home

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny of artwork by Betty Kay Kendrick at ABC Carpet & Home

i will meet you there

Somewhere
down the path,
between seen
and unseen,
reality and
imagination,
waking and
dreaming,
the past
and the future,
there is a place.

I will meet you there.

You might think
that you forgot the way,
but that is an illusion.
For if you believe,
you can always
pick up that scent
to that place
called magic.

And you might
come to realize
it is not a place
at all, but rather
an energy...
a life force...
a birthright...
that dwells
within you
and me
and all of us.

I will meet you there.

Self-Portrait Photograph by: Elana Kilkenny

Self-Portrait Photograph by: Elana Kilkenny

Lightchaser

Plants tend toward
The light
So should we

Coming out of the dark
Isn't always fun,
But entering the light Is

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny

fine-feathered magic

Sometimes,
you are
in pursuit
of magic.
And sometimes,
magic
simply
finds
you...

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny taken at ABC Carpet and Home

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny taken at ABC Carpet and Home

Yogic Alchemy of the Angelic kind

I find myself
Beneath your gaze

On Saturdays
That are sacred

Where I stretch my limbs
And my mind
Past their comfort
Into a place of
Unknown possibility
And soul-rebooting

And when I falter
In my conviction

When I feel
Like giving up

When my body
Seems to be
Saying there is
No further to go
But my intuition
Knows this is just
My fear equator

Well then,
I look up at you
And feel your prayer-filled
Hands deliver a message
To that space within me
Between my present
And my future

And I have this sense
That if
I just breathe a little deeper
And connect with
My tenacity instead of
My perceived capacity

That at some point
In my practice,
I will surrender

To
Grace
And find myself
In a pose
Where I feel winged

And I will know
That I am
One
Step
Closer
To the
Divinity
That is
Me

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny

Unfurling Joy

Today I look to you

To learn

How to open

To the sun

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny at ABC Carpet and Home

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny at ABC Carpet and Home

Look No further

There was a day
I stopped
Looking outside
Of myself
For what
I most wanted

That was the day
I found
True
Love
And it
Was me

The search was over
And from that center
More love entered
Marriage
Children
Soul tribe
My heart's vocation

But my greatest love
Of all
Will always be me
It has to be
For all love in my life
Begins there...

So you,

Crying inside
Convinced this is it
Aggravated by heart
Reminders
Surrounding you

Please take a breath
And remember
Who you really are
Beyond the search
Beyond the fantasy
Of what your life
Should be

The only people I know
Truly in love
Say it was an inside job

There was always
A lonely corridor
To transverse
And on the other side
Might not be your dream
Come true
But rather your heart's truth
Lived

So today,
And everyday
Be
Beloved
To
You

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny

Night & Day

Morning comes
I gently roll over
One last time deep
Beneath my sheets

Amber light sneaking
Through
To reveal a fresh
Sheet of snow

I rouse myself
From the warmth of bed
Feeling the chill
Of wintry morning rush

I look to the sunrise for warmth
Drawing in her promise
Of a new day dawning
Claire de Lune fills my heart
Slowly warming myself
To welcome the day
When all I wish for is night

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny

Photograph by Elana Kilkenny

Nancy Joy's Opus

Where are you?

We are at our restaurant
The same one where
Last year this Sunday
You blew out your last birthday candles
I remember as I sang, "And many more..."
Lingering on your face
Taking a photograph with my mind

"Remember this."
A voice inside whispered

And I do remember
So much so that I lose my breath
My heart in my throat
Still singing "And many more"
Only there are no more years
No more candles
No more shaking hands to hold

So I flee

I leave the table
I leave the restaurant
I leave my husband and kids

I fly outside
Not knowing why
Until I see the sky

"I'm looking for you!"

I scream to the clouds
And as tears pour down
I splinter inside
I've been looking my whole life for you
So hidden you were inside your illness

And now I find you
For a moment
The sky light
Fills me up
With your grace

I hear talk of double rainbows
Across NYC
And I know you are somewhere
Over them
Judy Garland's voice Is wafting in my heart

And in this moment
I am little once again
My hand in yours
We love one another
My love is simple and pure
You are whole to me then

I hear you call me sweetheart
And I am transported back
Here on the dock
Looking for you

And all I can find now is your light
Everywhere...

Photo Credit: Elana Kilkenny

Photo Credit: Elana Kilkenny

the wanderluster

She dreamt deeply
Of far away lands
dipped in snow
She transversed landscapes
in her wanderlust heart

But when she awoke
she found herself in the same bed
In the same home
In the same city
There was breakfast to be made
Floors to clean
Children to engage

There was a lot of work to do

She did not know when
she would see
The cafรฉs of Paris
Or the sunsets in Santorini
Nor the marigolds in India
Or even the mountains of the Berkshires

But she did know that all of these places dwelled within her heart
And that one day she would find herself amidst the lavender fields and Tuscan meals
But for now she need look no further than the sky
To remind her of the beauty of this very spot
Of the blessing of where she was

And so she closed her eyes for a moment
Sending a wish out to the ethers to travel again once more
With a secondary wish upon it's heels
That she should always feel the blessing of the here and now
For that is where she dwelled

And to be stuck in longing is a particular kind of hell
When all she wished for was heaven

Photo Credit: Elana Kilkenny

opening

By the moon's light
You close
By the sun's rays
You open

Delighted to see
Into the interior of you

End of summer blossom
The secrets you hold til then
And when your beauty unfolds
You float amidst reflections
Of heaven above
And watery-depths below

Such a brief window
To take you in
Delicate in your fierceness

From within the darkness
You rise
As shall I
So very worth the risk
To be seen

Photo Credit: Elana Kilkenny

Photo Credit: Elana Kilkenny

look up

When I need to remember
The vastness
Beyond my microscopic view
I look to you
And fly higher
Perched on a cloud
Expansive am I
And like an eagle
I see what once
Seemed so big
Now seems so small
And with restored perspective
I float back down
On firmer ground
Grateful for your reminder
That there is always
A larger picture
So look up sometimes
When your heart is sad
And your mind is raging
Perhaps you
Will remember
There is always
Another way
To see
What's right in front of you

Photo Credit: Elana Kilkenny (Temporary Tattoo by Danielle LaPorte)

BraveHeart

Be brave
Though your heart may be aching

Be brave
Though you think it's over

Be brave
Even if it really is over

Be brave
Cause the sun does keep on shining

Be brave
And you will once again be lit up

Be brave
Because your heart needs you to be

Be brave
As the life you desire requires it

Be brave
As spirits always rise like heat

Be brave
And you'll thank me later,

As love rewards the brave

Photo Credit: Elana Kilkenny

Photo Credit: Elana Kilkenny

coming around again

Do you remember
The night
Into the center ring
You held my hand that night
My heart so raw and tender
Loss still fresh in my soul
My mother's death
Shaking me to my marrow
You listened so deeply
Loved me so presently
And I like a grateful sponge
Absorbed your nourishment

And now only a few moons later
Your loss, your father
So deep so profound
So fresh
The shock of losing a parent
So primally core
I go back here now
To fish out our wishes
To caste them again into the water
And I faintly see them dancing
Amidst the flickering lights
Perhaps...perhaps with them now too

"For we might never hold your hand again," they say
"But remember this my loves,
Love truly never dies..."

Photo Credit: Elana Kilkenny

Photo Credit: Elana Kilkenny

raw alchemy

Wash it away
Bring it forth
Raw power
Of you
To take
What longs
To leave
And wave in
What desires
To live
I throw into you
A stone of fear
And you return
A shell of hope
Salted tears
One day will
Turn to rain

Photo Credit: Catherine Just

Photo Credit: Catherine Just

trusting into the darkness

And the night came too fast
The day still swimming in her head
But darkness did fall
And she had had enough of darkness
So she leaned into her light
And heard an innocence whisper
"Simply close your eyes
Let the angels do the rest."
And so she did...

Photo Credit: Catherine Just

Photo Credit: Catherine Just

tonight, tonight, tonight

Tonight
May you remember you are loved
Even if, especially if, you have forgotten

Tonight
May you reach inside that place within where you hold your own hand as though you were beloved
Cause you are
Truly you are

Tonight
A song for the broken-hearted to hear your heartbeat that is perhaps cracked open as to receive more love...not less

Tonight
Rest dearest one
Do not make decisions from unrest

Tomorrow
Is another day