Synchronicities, Letting Go and Nora Ephron

"Rainbows Over Manhattan" Photo by Elana Kilkenny.

I feel somehow that Nora Ephron is woven inexorably into the tapestry of my living in this city that I love so profoundly. When I was a college senior I moved into a tiny, slightly decrepit one bedroom apartment in the boondocks section of the Upper East Side. There was scarcely a thing about that particular neighborhood or apartment that felt like me, but on my second night there I went to see "Sleepless in Seattle" in a local movie theater and it hit me...I was living my childhood dream of calling New York City my home. So my apartment was still just an apartment, but I was now at home in New York City.

Years later when I was in my mid-twenties, I found myself blessed enough to buy a one bedroom apartment in my beloved city. And although I had barely spent a minute in all my years in Manhattan on the Upper West Side, somehow my vision of living in New York City was shaped by my adoration of Woody Allen movies and my hundredth viewing of "When Harry Met Sally". My home for fourteen years was in the West 70's and close to Riverside Park. I spent countless strolls passing by the storied Apthorp building. And when I did, I would always look into the courtyard from the street and daydream of all the magical people I imagined lived there. Never realizing at the time that Ms. Ephron was one of those very people.

Years later, I found through a series of synchronicities Nora Ephron's famous love letter in The New Yorker to her apartment in the Apthorp. Somewhere in this timeline, my dear friend Alex D. invited me to the New York premier of "You've Got Mail" and I found myself living out another childhood dream torn from the pages of "The Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler" of being inside The Natural History Museum after hour. Underneath the iconic blue whale stood both Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks who I adore, but it was Ms. Ephron that I was longing to speak to but too shy to approach. No small violins are playing here though, as in that inevitable way that life presents us all with our own full-circle story arcs, I had my opportunity years later to speak with her under much more meaningful circumstances.

So at this point in my own story, here is my love letter to Ms. Ephron that I posted in the wake of her recent passing:

"I will always remember Nora Ephron, not just because I loved her humor and her movies, but because she obsessively loved her Upper West Side apartment in the Apthorp and her article in The New Yorker about letting it go helped me to let go of my own apartment on the UPW that I was obsessively attached to. I loved her because when I was pregnant with my second child, and my aforementioned beloved home was in contract to be sold, I found myself sitting behind her in a movie theater and mustered up the courage to thank her for her Apthorp article. I told her of my heartache in moving and she turned around to me and put her hand on my arm and looked me squarely in the eyes as she said, 'You will feel so stupid that you ever worried about leaving...'

And it being Nora Ephron, it was said with the perfect mix of tenderness, tough love, perspective and emphasis. And of course, as I sit here looking out my window of my new home where I am greeted by rainbows, fireworks, and all the phases of the moon...I know she was right."

With deep abiding gratitude and love,
Elana

Revitalizing Your Home: De-clutter and Redesign

Photo by Elana Kilkenny. Taken at a Jonathan Adler store in NYC.

With temperatures climbing across the country, it is a great time to spend some time indoors de-cluttering and re-decorating your home. I have found with myself and clients that so much energy gets stuck in our homes when clutter accumulates and when your home no longer reflects who you are. De-cluttering can be a bit overwhelming for many of us,  I have found that since becoming a mother and having less disposable time that for the first time in years I am needing to do a de-cluttering overhaul. It is often wise to start with a small defined area and to identify first the items that simply need to be sifted through for outdated material (i.e. papers, magazines, etc.) that are no longer of use. I start here first as it gives an instant boost in de-cluttering confidence as you have an instant clearing in space. The areas that have items that require you to create more systematic organization in order to properly place them takes more time and thought.

Karen Kingston has a great and simple book called "Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui" that I refer to a lot of my clients when I help them with the Sacred Space design of their homes and office. A simple tenant that I try to keep in mind as often as possible is to keep that which you truly use and that which you love. Those things that you are keeping out of obligation, attachment to the past, fear of not having enough..all contribute to a constriction in your energy and general flow of not only your space but also your life to receive what is trying to come through to you.

While not all of us have the budget or desire to completely redesign your home, this time of year provides a great opportunity to be creative in bringing the style of your home into your own inspirational present. As an example, our family is still in the process of allowing our new home to speak to us and to acquire meaningful pieces to fill it. In the meantime, there are spaces that I know I don't want to commit to hanging pictures with nails as I know the furniture arrangement will probably change shortly. So I have taken some of my children's art and used simple blue painters tape to artfully arrange some pieces to add instant color and meaning to our home. When new artwork comes home or new inspiration hits I simply take down the old ones and replace them with new ones leaving my walls completely unharmed.

Another cost-conscious way to add instant pop to your walls is to frame pretty wrapping paper, wallpaper remnants, or reasonably priced prints (Etsy has some great ones). The summer is a great time to also unleash your inner artist and even if you have never painted before  you can buy a canvas and simply buy paint whose colors attract you and paint. My inner painter was unleashed years ago at Rebecca Schweiger's wonderful The Art Studio NY (see below for resources) as her classes provide tremendous support and freedom to simply create regardless of whether you have ever painted before or consider yourself an artist.

Another instant re-boot for your home is to simply rehash some current furniture and pieces in your home by placing them in different locations and/or for different uses. For instance an old shelving piece with doors once used for books can be re-jiggered to be a min-wardrobe for a child. Simply switching out or adding some decorative pillows are great ways to instantly refresh your current decor and can be switched seasonally if you like.

For more design inspiration from everything from great interiors, furniture, pillows, etc. follow me onPinterest and Instagram. Need some more one-on-one guidance, contact me about my transformative Sacred Home Design and Space Clearing and Blessing services. Happy clearing and decorating!!!

P.S. More tips forthcoming!

Resources:

1) For Design Inspiration and Resources follow me on Pinterest and Instagram.

2) Art Classes: The Art Studio NY.

3) Pillows of all price ranges (Ikea, Jonathan Adler, Anthropologie, Urban Outfitters and more on my Pinterest "Pillow Talk" board)

4)For art at all price ranges follow your own muse or check out my "Artists You Should Know About" board on Pinterest.

5)"Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui" by Karen Kingston

6)Resources and great idea for organizing at my "Uncluttered Home, Peaceful Home" board on Pinterest.

Nurturing Yourself Through Your Home: Autumnal Nesting

Photo by Elana Kilkenny.

We have all heard of spring cleaning, well I am a big believer in autumnal gathering. As our days grow cooler and nights draw earlier, the fall is a great time to begin to feather your nest for the upcoming season. For some of you this may mean clearing out your home of clutter and/or things that you no longer love nor support you in your home. Most of us spend more time in our homes in the cooler months, so being surrounded by pieces that nourish you and have positive associations is particularly important to your sense of well being.

It is amazingly freeing to let go of items that weigh you down emotionally and energetically. Are you holding on to things because of a sense of obligation (I should really keep this because so and so gave this to me), from past relationships that you have ambivalence or negativity about, things that you used to love but no longer reflect who you are, etc. Often we hold on to things out of a lack of faith that we won't receive what we really want or out of protection to hold on to a past version for ourselves. In my work with clients over the years I have seen amazing shifts in their lives and homes when they have had the courage and faith to bring their homes into the present and make room for the future.

Some of you may be on the polar spectrum and have very orderly and spare homes. While that aesthetic can be very calming and soothing, you may want to ask yourselves if your environment also reflects any areas of detachment, rigidity, or loneliness that you may experience. If any of this resonates with you, you may want to gather some pieces that soften your home. A great way to nourish your soul and add warmth to your environment is to add accessories and fabrics that are tactile and inviting.

For all of us autumn is a great time to add elements of warmth to our homes which in turn warms us as well. Cozy blankets or throws are great ways to add instant coziness to your environment. For those of you that love tea, buying a fresh stock of aromatic and soothing teas is an affordable and delicious way to enjoy some instant peace. Even though my days are as full as most of you, I find that taking an extra few minutes to sit down and drink some freshly brewed tea in my favorite cup is instantly restorative (I like steeping fresh mint leaves with a bit of raw honey).

If your windows are bare ask yourself is it just a design choice or does it reflect a lack of commitment to settling into your home or does a part of you unconsciously have some boundary issues around personal space (I am not just speaking physical space here). You may be more comfortable in having a choice over the level of privacy and exposure (as well as light) that you want to bring into your daily life.

This is also a great time of year to create a more romantic atmosphere in your home regardless of whether you share your home with a partner or not. Candles are an easy way to add instant romance, as are bath potions and inviting music. If you are interested in cooking, this is also a wonderful time to indulge and bring hearth energy into your home. Autumn is also an opportune time to start or deepen your meditation practice. This is a great way to bring more to your life and to your home. Use your imagination, there are so many personalized ways to lift the energy of your home and your spirits a well!

Some of My Favorite Things for Autumn:

Blankets/Throws:
Splurge: www.ochrestore.com
Visit their store in New York for a larger selection of beautiful and tactile pieces for your home. ABC home store on 19th and Broadway, an amazing selection of pretty much everything for your home (check out John Robshaw bedding).
 

Reasonable: www.barefootdreams.com
Their Cozy Chic line is amazingly soft for adults, children and babies. Wonderful blanket, robes and clothing.


A Tea Moment:
Bodum makes a beautiful and modern range of tea kettles and pots that brew fresh tea. I particularly like the all glass ones even if they require more delicate handling. In New York Cityplaces like Alice's Teacup, Takashimaya and Dean and Deluca have a wonderful selection of fresh and exotic teas to choose from. I also love the French tea company, Mariage Freres.

Raw honey is a delicious and healthy food to have on hand and tastes delicious in tea. After hearing about this from a homeopath at the first sign of a cough or sore throat in our home we have a small spoonful of raw honey (crunchy parts and all).

Favorite Candles:
Splurge: Diptique candles burn incredibly pure and come in tantalizing scents . I am personally obsessed with their Figuier (fig) candle.  A new favorite line of candles is from the French company LostMarch. They come in three scents to set different moods, I love all of them. This line is hard to find in the States but Share with...--a wonderful and friendly store in Montauk, New York--carries them and I believe they ship [(631) 668-2205].

Reasonable: Votivo carries a wonderful line of candles and comes in a beautiful glass jar (red currant is my long-time favorite scent, more sexy than fruity).  Geodesis makes my second favorite fig candle named "fig tree". It is slightly woodsy and reminds of crisp evenings in a foreign countryside.